Fear...

I ran across this poem today while rummaging through my office.  I wish I knew where it came from, but I know I've had it for a long time.  Funny how I can read this and remember times in my life I've lived in fear of all those situations mentioned and am still working through most of them in one way or another.  So here's to rallying instead of running....

                                     Fear

I feel it coming on again: fear, crawling under my skin.

That quiet, unspoken, never-admitted feeling...

That haunting, ever nagging, turn-your-back and run panic...

Fear not of spiders or big dogs or the pull of the ocean, 

But fear of my ability, people’s reaction, the future, mistakes

O Lord, help me to face my fears and turn them around, 

Be my anchor: stand by me until I - 

Stop fearing I might lose in love...

But fear instead that I may never love at all.

Stop fearing there are others better than me...

But fear instead that I will never discover my true potential.

Stop fearing I might not meet others expectations...

But fear instead that I may never know yours.

Stop fearing what lies ahead tomorrow, next week, next month, next year...

But fear instead that I may never experience life’s drama today.

Stop fearing hurt and sorrow and fears...

But fear instead that I will never feel the pains of growth.

Stop fearing I might fail...

But feat instead that I may never try.

Stop fearing others will laugh at me...

But fear instead that I might never learn to laugh at myself.

O Lord, help me to anchor my life on your hope

Instead of my fear.

O Lord, I know an adventurous life can never be fear-free

But at least help my fears to be my soul’s signal for rallying

Instead of running. 

Pure Religion...

Read this in Max Lucado's Book "Out Live Your Life: You Were Made To Make a Difference" and it struck a cord with me.  May this be my prayer...

Dear Lord, You promised we would always have the poor among us.  Help me to make sure that the reverse is also true: that I am always among the poor - helping, encouraging, and lending a hand wherever I can.   Enable me to love the invisible God by serving the very visible poor in my corner of the world.  Help me to be creative without being condescending, encouraging without being egotistic, and fearless without being foolish.  May the poor bless you because of me, and may my efforts somehow reduce the number of the poor.  In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."  James 1:27 NLT

Life isn't fair...

So here I am awake at 2am again...jumped on facebook because what else do you do at this time of day?  While cruising through some friends post, I saw an update on Nathan on my friends wall.  Nathan was able to have his CT scan done at Mercy Ships and the news wasn't good.  It showed that the large facial tumor he has is inoperable due to it involving major blood vessels of his head and neck that they wouldn't be able to work around.  Nathan and his grandmother are already on their way back to the Democratic Republic of Congo.  To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, but as we all learn at a very early age, "Life isn't fair."  Our youth group is doing a study on using our lives to make a difference right now, and part of the lesson we did this last Monday was focusing on this very concept.  One of the things that stuck with me was something Max Lucado said about people being born in the wrong latitude...we are blessed with healthcare, opportunity, food and all these things mainly in part because of where we were born.  I could be the exact same person I am today, but if I was born in a slum in India or most parts of Africa, my life would look so much different - but from no "fault" of my own...I would be a victim of latitude.  Just a huge reminder to me of how truly blessed I am and its not something to take for granted.  But to take it a step further, not only should I be extremely grateful, but I also have a HUGE responsibility to do what I can for those who don't have the same blessings that I have.  Whether that be here for a homeless person or for a little 10 yr old boy half way around the world.  I will probably never hear anything else about Nathan, but I do know that he will be in my prayers that God would bring comfort and peace to him.  He has brought the other side of the world a little closer for me and although I may not understand why things ended the way they did, I do know its all in God's control.  Through this situation, I was able to be blessed by a few nurses that fought for this little guy and joined in prayer together that God's will would be done...and it was.  Thanks to all those who joined us in prayer...

1 John 3:17-18
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Quick Nathan Update...

Nathan and his grandmother arrived on Mercy Africa docked in Sierra Leone.  They are awaiting a CT scan to re-evaluate the tumor to make sure they can do the surgery...and hopefully soon.  A nurse practitioner I know in Haiti has a nurse friend who is working on the ship right now, so hopefully we will be able to get frequent updates from her.  Just continuing to pray that everything works out for this surgery to happen soon and comfort for this little boy and his family.

Update on Nathan...

I'm just getting time to write this, but have good news. Friday morning I got an email from a friend in Haiti that Nathan had been accepted by Mercy Ships for surgery.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please the blog post below. He and his grandmother should have arrived in Sierra Leone yesterday and Nathan was supposed to meet with the surgeon today. You just have to wonder what a 10 year old boy who has never flown thinks of on that first airplane ride. Or what is going on in his head as he walks up to a cruise ship to meet with a doctor about surgery. From what information Mercy Ships was given, they weren't sure there was much they could do, but were willing to at least explore the possibility of surgery if for no other reason than palliative treatment. Mercy Ships will do the surgery and recovery for free...what a blessing this organization is to many people. Check out their website at www.mercyships.org for more information. Now starts another round of waiting as we await news of what the surgeon thinks and if Nathan is able to have surgery. I know God has worked so many details out so far, that I'm trusting him to finish this out. Lots of prayers are going up for this little boy all around that world...and I know that prayer works!! Stay tuned for the rest of this miracle story!!

A boy named Nathan...

Let's just put it out there right now...I'm not that person. I see the pictures and get the emails about kids suffering in 3rd world countries. I've experienced poverty first hand in Haiti and Nicaragua. Those I have met personally have affected me in some big ways, but its a much bigger struggle for me to have deep seated feelings for those who I have never met. Do I feel compassion for them?? YES!! But I tend to be a realist and know that I can't save the world. I don't spend nights wondering how some kid in Uganda I've never met is doing, or where his next meal is coming from. I give to organizations that help these children/families, but I can't say I lose any sleep over it. I know it sounds horrible to say, but I'm not that person! Well that is until about 3 weeks ago. It was a Saturday afternoon and I was trying to get caught up on my emails after a busy week. The subject line of one particular email read "10 yr old Nathan from the Democratic Republic of the Congo - help and prayer." It was from a friend of mine I met while working with Samaritan's Purse in Haiti earlier this year. Because it was from her, was probably the only reason I even gave it a second glance. The gist of the email was - there is this 10 year old boy in DRC who has had this tumorous growth on his neck that is continuing to get worse. So much so, that this poor child is in significant pain every day of his life and no longer wants to live. I can't explain why, but this ripped my heart out...and then I saw the pictures. This boys tumor is probably 2/3 the size of his head and is a raw, open wound. The rest of the email was asking for prayers for this boy, but also looking for any medical professionals who might have contacts in Africa for a surgeon. The email came to me by way of 3 other people. SP has a new medical director who I guess is originally from DRC. She had sent the word out through a nurse practitioner I worked with in April who had moved back to Haiti for a few months after being gone, who then forwarded it along to my friend, LB, in Indianapolis. Now I have never been to Africa, and not sure I will ever make it there, but immediately my mind started racing. Through volunteer work I do for Nehemiah Vision Ministries, I had become acquainted with a great organization called Mercy Ships. If you have never heard about them, you should check out their website www.mercyships.org and see the great work they are doing around the world. I had just started conversing with a great lady by the name of Sylvia, but have to say I knew nothing about her except a few conversations we have had to prepare their team for Haiti. It's funny how sometimes you just get a feel for a person after just a small amount of time and that's the feeling I had about Sylvia. I knew that Mercy Ships does a lot of work in Africa - specifically Sierra Leone and Togo. I wasn't sure I wanted to use this new found connection since it was a new partnership with us through NVM, but just couldn't stop thinking about little Nathan. So later that night, I broke down and decided to email Sylvia. I've told a few friends (and Sylvia after the fact) that I don't think I've ever prayed over an email...but I did that night! Monday I kept checking my phone all day to see if I had gotten a reply. It didn't take long...I must have been the first email she answered that day! Sylvia and her husband were more than willing to see what could be done and started making contact with the doctors on Mercy Ship Africa right away. We sent emails back and forth as we sought more information regarding his past treatments and current condition. I don't know how this is all going to end - it might be too late to do anything other than palliative treatment for this brave young guy, but I know God has it all under his control. Expectantly waiting to see how God works this all out. But so now I'm the one asking, if you would say a prayer for comfort for this boy and his family as well that the pieces might fall into place for us to get him some help. There is a little more to the story of how God used this in my life, but I'll save that for another time because this already longer than I wanted. I'll update my blog as I found out more information...

Another God-sighting...

So I just got done spending the weekend with our teens at Summer of Service. It was a great weekend and God worked in the lives of our group. One of my favorite parts of the day was when we would do God-sightings. You were to look back on the day and see a moment when you saw God at work in every day situations. Its funny how we go through our lives and really miss those moments. Well tonight was definitely one of those moments. Monday nights is our youth group night for Ignite Youth Ministries, and it was great to get together after the weekend. We were playing big ball volleyball and just goofing off together. During the game, a white van drives through the church parking lot. The truck kind of slows down and 2 guys are kind of watching us as we act crazy! As they start getting past us, one of the teens yells out, "Jesus loves you" and the guy in the passengers seat yells back, "I know." We all head back to our game and don't give the exchange any more thought, until a few minutes later the guy starts strolling over to where we are playing. He says thanks to "whoever yelled Jesus loves you" and then proceeds to tell us about some serious losses in his life that were weighing heavy on him, and then asks us if we would pray for him. Of course we were like sure, although some of the teens were looking a little tentative. We talked to him for a few minutes then all joined hands and prayed for this burdened gentleman. Dave was able to spend a little more time talking with him, and give him a Bible to take home with him. Who knew that 3 little words yelled across a parking lot would make such an impact on this man...so much so that he sought us out to stand in the gap for him. I just hope that we all stop and really take in how God was moving tonight!