When the comfortable becomes uncomfortable...

People often describe Haiti as "hard" and I get why they say that, but for me, Haiti is comfortable.  I know to most people that won't make sense, but it has become my 2nd home, so the hardness that others see is replaced by familiarity instead in my mind.  There are so many images burned in my mind of things I've seen and experienced in Haiti, some good and others hard to relive, but still they leave me feeling nostalgic, especially for the people I have shared those experiences with.  Aside from homes I have lived in and places I've worked, Haiti has to be the place I've spent the greatest portion of my life.  People always ask me how many times I've been to Haiti, so the other day I flipped through my passport and counted 13 trips total.  I'm guessing that equals about 18 weeks altogether, so that might explain a little better why its my comfort zone.  I have many friends there, even some I consider "family" like the Pierre's and the 2 kids I sponsor through NVM.  In fact, its hard to remember my life before I had the perspective that Haiti has given me.  I wouldn't trade those experiences for the world, even those that have left my heart broken.

But this time was different...different for many reasons.  I guess the best way to describe it was I felt uncomfortable for the first time in a long time being in Haiti.  In some ways, not much had changed.

 As soon as we stepped out of the airport, the smell of burning rubber and diesel hit me and it was like I hadn't been gone for 2 years.  As we took the usual tap-tap ride through Port-au-Prince though, you could see some improvements along the way - less trash, more commerce, and new construction.  On campus things are changing too.  The children's home has moved to campus and is now 2 separate houses - one for the boys and another for the girls.  Almost all the American staff that were friends of mine have returned to the States with a new crew taking their place.  Even much of the Haitian staff is different.  But as they say change is good, right?  I miss the days when the wifi was horrible so we would all sit on the roof and talk/sing/play games instead of staring at our phones checking Facebook.  I can't even begin to explain the changes in all the kids I've seen grow up over the last 6 years.  It's amazing to see the ways they have grown - physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Some I could barely recognize, that is until they would call across campus, "Shewi!"  I love that sound!  Through the week, I just had this overwhelming sense that I didn't "belong" like I have always felt in the past.  I felt like a stranger in a way, and that was unsettling and uncomfortable.

The thing that made me most uncomfortable though, was the thing that surprised me the most.  When most people think of Haiti they think of extreme poverty.  Most families live day to day and struggle to meet daily needs that most of us take for granted.  I have seen all of this first hand, but in many ways have become accustomed to it.  I wouldn't even say it's a bad thing either.  It's just I've come to realized that they are happy with what little they have, which is more than we can say for many

Americans, myself included.  When you visit Haiti, you start to realize they may not possess many of the luxuries that we have, but they are rich in many other ways.  I envy them at times for the simple lives they enjoy.  How relationships are WAY more important and they aren't slaves to "things."  How they hunger for God because they need Him to sustain them through each and every day.  I guess in my eyes those things make them rich!  Then I spent the morning in the nutrition clinic that NVM

started about 2 years, and it broke me.  It broke me to see a 10 month old little boy who weighed under 10 lbs sitting listless on his mothers lap.  It broke me to see 2 children discharged from the program because they were losing weight, most likely because their mom had to decide to share the Plumpy Nut with her other 4 kids or sell it to feed her family. It broke me to hear stories of kids whose legs are swollen from lack of protein in their diets.  Or those whose hair is discolored due to lack of vital nutrients.   It broke me to realize I probably threw out more food before I left the States then these kids will see in a week.  Most importantly though it broke me to know that there are many more kids like these who aren't able to receive help because NVM can only support having 20 kids in the program at a time.  We had some success stories that day - 2 boys discharged after reaching their weight goals, but in my mind I knew there were hundreds more out there to take their place.  I had to come to the realization that this should make me uncomfortable.  I shouldn't be able to see those things and walk away without feeling unsettled.  I believe it was Bono who I saw quoted once regarding people being victims of latitude.  By no fault of their own, other than the place they were born, children live or die. That should shake me up a little.  It doesn't mean I should feel guilty for being born in America, but rather make me come to the realization that with my affluence comes great responsibility...responsibility to play my part, whatever that may be.  So for know, I'm embracing that uncomfortable feeling, knowing that it will lead me to my next step...

Praise Party 2013...

So I read my friend Michelle's blog yesterday on kicking off 2014 and it got me thinking.  While out shoveling snow today, I had some time to reflect on 2013.  Seems as I gear up for 2014, I get focused on all the things I plan to do but I don't want to miss the opportunity to reflect on all He has done!  Thanks Michelle for the inspiration!


Psalm 89:1 - I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.


Father, I want to praise you for the ways that you reveal yourself to me in so many ways...

1.  Last year at this time, I was getting ready to have foot surgery.  Thank you for teaching me (and still am) how to depend on others.  You blessed me with amazing friends and family who drove me around when I couldn't drive, dropped off meals, stopped by for visits, and made me feel loved.

2.  Thank you for my crazy nursing job...a year ago I definitely wasn't feeling this way and had actually applied for a year long job overseas...but I'm beginning to see Your working and am excited for what lies ahead.

3.  Thank you for the opportunity to serve as a CASA here in my own community.  It's been awesome, frustrating, challenging and so much more, but love the little piece I get to play in these kids and their families lives.  

4.  So blessed by the opportunity to travel to Brazil and serve with CBM...what a great opportunity to see the world, serve with some truly amazing people, touch lives by meeting physical/spiritual needs and once again gain some much needed perspective on my life here in the States.

5.  Thank you for recovery from my stress fracture and the chance it gave me to step back and gain a little perspective.  Failure isn't the end, just the start of the next beginning.

6.  Blessed to have the opportunity to mentor one of the younger girls at our church and build relationships with several of them just spending time investing in them.  

7.  Thank you for grace, forgiveness, and second chances...the ways I learned a little bit more about myself this year...the good, bad, and everything in between...but thankful that I don't have to stay the same but can allow You to work in me to be all that You desire.  

8.  Thank you that in all those moments that I felt like it was me taking on the world alone, I wasn't...you were there the whole time and it was just me thinking that I had to do it all on my own.  

9.  Thank you for old and new friends and the ways they make my life a whole lot better!

10. Thank you for my church and how I'm challenged, encouraged, and led by the men and women who make up our "community."

11.  Thank you for all the other ways you love me...

Looking forward to all that 2014 holds for me and praying to have my eyes open to all the ways God is working around me.  


Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.


Would love to hear how God has worked in your life in the last year...any takers??

Joy Dare v.2

The second installment of The Joy Dare...

Day 6 -  3 Gifts of Government

Religious freedom...so thankful for the opportunity to spend time with my church family every Sunday without fear of persecution

Opportunity to vote - am privileged to have a say in my government even if I don't always agree with it.

Land of Opportunity - blessed that we have so many opportunities.  Made me think of something I read in a Max Lucado study once about how those in other countries are just victims of latitude.  How different my life would be if I was born in a different place.

Day 7 - 3 Gifts from Your Window

First few flakes of snow - so many people hate winter but I LOVE it!

My deck - love just sitting out there enjoying some quiet time, or having friends over and lighting up the fire pit

Sunshine - after the last few days of dreary weather am so excited to see beautiful rays of sunshine coming through the window.  Especially after several days of work of going in to work in the dark and leaving in the dark.

Day 8 - Gift Sweet, Salty, Sipped

My niece Jenna - she has such a sweet spirit...love that kid and so thankful to be her aunt!

Nuts - one my no carb diet nuts, all kinds, are a staple and quick snack

Tea - my diet has ruined my coffee drinking days, so I'm learning to like tea

Day 9 - Going with my own theme today!

Saturday mornings to sleep in - after a long week of waking up early, I'm thankful for a few hours of catch-up sleep

Heated blanket - now that its getting cold, I hate going to bed cold...but a heated blanket is amazing!

Queen size bed - way too big for one person, but just the way I like

Day 10 - 3 Gifts Found in Bible Reading

Peace - knowing God has it all under control and that the times I lose my peace is when I'm taking on burdens I was never intended to bear

Armor of God - just finished reading a great devotional by Stormie Omartian on the armor of God and it totally changed my perspective on it.  What a great blessing to be protected by God every day.

Undeserved grace - oh how I take this for granted so often

Day 11 - 3 Gifts of Remembrance

Veterans - on this veterans day, no better thing to remember than the sacrifice of all those who serve or have served our country

Parents - My parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary this past weekend...what an example they have laid out for me.

Grandparents - I only have one living grandparent but am thankful for the time I was able to spend and learn from them.  Also sad I don't really remember my G-pa Nater though except for a few pics I've seen of him.

Day 12 - 3 Gifts at Noon

My job - at noon I'm halfway done for the day  :)

Food - having been in many places in the world where people are lucky to eat once a day, reminded how blessed I am to get to eat any time I want.

Calls to my mom - on my days off, I always try to touch base with my mom...and it always seems to be around noon!

Day 13 - 3 Gifts Behind a Door

Coats - I have more than any one person should have.  As it gets colder, its easy to forget how many people struggle without the warmth of a coat.  

Clothes - again way more than I need...

Car - thankful to have a dependable car that gets me where I need to be

Day 14 - 3 Gifts Silent

Sleep - I have always had trouble sleeping and every little noise wakes me up.  Silence is golden in my book for a good nights sleep.

Peace - its one of the first words I think of when I think silence.

God's Voice - Its in the moments of quiet, when I hear God speak most clearly...need more time to clear out all the senseless noise in my life.

The Joy Dare...

So our Ladies Bible Study on Friday morning is doing the 1,000 Gifts study by Ann Voskamp.  Honestly, with my work schedule I'm going to miss at least half of the study, but decided I wanted to take part in The Joy Dare.  Each day you look for 3 gifts that you are thankful for guided by the daily prompts.  Some are easier than others for sure but all of them make you think a little deeper.  The calendar prompts you to think of the big and little things that are such a blessing...and not always the obvious things.  November is a great month to start this, but I'm really going to challenge myself to keep it up for the year.  There is a great app I'm using on my phone that helps me keep up on the daily part of it.  I have no unreal expectations that I will update my blog every day, but hope to try to update it at least once a week. Will definitely be the most action my blog has seen in a long time, but what better way to use it.  So here goes nothing...


Joy Dare Day 1 - 3 gifts eaten

Coffee - can't drink it much any more but I sure do enjoy a fresh cup when I can to get me going

Green Bean Casserole - one of my favorite things my mom makes for Thanksgiving.  I can make it but its just never quite the same as when mom makes it!

Fresh fruit - especially when its picked right off the tree.  My travels to several foreign countries have allowed me to have some of the best FRESH fruit - mango, banana, papaya (not my fav), pineapple, guava...yum.

Joy Dare Day 2 - 3 gifts worn

Scrubs  - because they are comfy and means I get to go to work and do something I really enjoy most days.

That pair of jeans I've had forever - you know that pair that just fits perfect and are SO comfortable!

My running clothes - these days I spend almost as much time in them as I do any other clothes.  So thankful that I have the strength and health to get out there and run!

Joy Dare Day 3 - 3 gifts that start with N

Nature - I just love this time of year - bright leaves, gray/blue skies, crisp air...it just makes me happy!

Night out with friends - don't do it nearly enough.  Just this past weekend got to spend Saturday night with part of my church family celebrating my friends completing their 1st marathon...fun!

Notes of encouragement - I know hand-written notes are so old school, but I love sending and getting them.  Every once in a while I will run across one that someone sent me and it makes me smile and encourages my heart.

Joy Dare Day 4 - a gift gathered, given, good

Garden - Love in the summer being able to harvest my garden and eat the great stuff out of it.  Plus I love sharing the extras with friends and co-workers.

Forgiveness - for myself and others.  I have been given more than I deserve and am more stingy with giving it than I should ever be.

Friends - you know those ones who know just when to call because you need to talk, or the ones who you don't talk to nearly enough but pick up right where you left off the last time.

Joy Dare Day 5 - 3 gifts acorn small

Teeth - one of those things I take for granted until I crack it on Laffy Taffy!

Sand - nothing like walking on a warm, sunny beach and feeling the sand between your toes...reminds me of my travels as well as my time at PCC in Florida.

Medicine - mainly because during my mission travels, I've seen how many people don't have ready access to it like I do.  Can't imagine not having some Ibuprofen handy for a headache or sore muscles.

God's Mission is Outside the Bubble...

  So I just started reading the book, "Compelled by Love: The Most Excellent Way to Missional Living" and even though I'm only 2 chapters in, I can tell it will be challenging and convicting.  It's right where my head has been as of late.  The premise of the book is that we are all called to love others, not just other believers, but truly all those we come in to contact with.  When we truly see, experience, and live in the reality of God's love for us, how could we live any other way?  I really appreciate how the pages (at least what I've read) are full of scripture references and not just someone's opinion.  I love how the book presents the progression of the Christian life based on Galatians 2:19-20 - 1.  Christ's love in me, compels me  2.  Christ's love for me convinces me  3.  Christ's love at work in me, changes me.  I can not live a life of love on my...but rather the work of Christ and His love in me.  So often I try harder to love people, but in my own strength that will NEVER happen.  We are called to love as God does, which will never be accomplished while I'm living for myself.  This quote pretty much sums it up, "the lost are waiting to meet the believers who look like Jesus, not just talk about Him."  We will learn to love people (all people) when we learn to see them how God sees them.
  Chapter 2 goes right along with my previous blog post.  One of the sections is titled, "God's Mission is Outside the Bubble" and had some great food for thought.  "It seems we work hard to insulate ourselves from the very world Jesus says we should be focused on.  It seems we have created, without malicious design, a Christian bubble - an evangelical subculture - where Christians live surrounded only by other Christians, and as a result, there are few among the lost whom we get to know intimately."  I want to intentionally be involving myself with those outside the church.  To be living Christ's love in my neighborhood and workplace.  It's time to get dirty - get out the comfort of our church walls and make a difference.  Reach out to the hurting we see and love them - not for what they can do for us, but simply because we have been given great love through Christ.  What greater motivation do we need?  How many outside of my Christian circle can I truly say I show love to on a consistent basis?  Am I the one they come to when they have a need?   Is my life, every aspect, defined by love?  Do people know I am a Christian, not because I go to church on Sunday, but because of my love?  "The missional outworking of His heart in our lives refuses to allow us to sit still.  He drives us to the rocky places of people's lives."  Am I willing to go to the rocky places?
  One of my new favorite bands to listen to is a group based out of Oklahoma called Warr Acres.  While I was reading today, I started thinking about their song "Shadow of the Steeple" and how well it went along with this idea of loving others.  Here are the words and if you've never heard of them, you should totally check out their album.

Shadow of the Steeple

We’re stuck in complacency
We clock in once a week
The same routine
Some people put up a façade
Get by on a friendly nod
While inside hurting

We’ve been commanded to serve
We’ve been commanded to love
We’ve been commanded to go
These orders are from above
This isn’t too much to ask
This is the least we can do
Think of all He’s done for me
And all He’s done for You

In the shadow of the steeple
There are people who’ve lost their way
And in the neighborhoods surrounding
Hearts are pounding in great pain
Is there anyone to help them
And to tell them there’s a way
Is there anyone to love them
And to show them Jesus’ face

It’s time to be Christ’s feet and hands
Move from the sidelines and the stands, no spectating
It’s time to roll up all our sleeves
Kneel down and wash some dirty feet
And it might get messy but that’s okay ‘cause

We will go, we will go 


Am I willing to go??

Maybe its time to quit (or at least rethink this)

When is too much of a good thing bad?  That phrase is something I've been mulling over for a while, but especially this last week.  Several months ago I read a book called "Barefoot Church" by Brandon Hatmaker that started me thinking.  As a Christian, when does learning about the Bible get in the way of my actually living it out?  Don't I grow more when I stop just learning and start practicing?  Enough with soaking up information from sermons and Bible studies and instead start pouring out to those who need a helping hand.  Are my days/nights filled with church services, small groups and Bible studies so much so that I never have the time to engage those outside of my "church crowd."  Are my friends all brothers or sisters in Christ who feed my status quo lifestyle?  Am I INTENTIONALLY seeking out those who I can encourage and serve in my neighborhood, work, and social circle.    When does "act justly, love mercy, walk humbly" become more than a mantra on a t-shirt but something that impacts my interactions with all those I come in to contact with?  If I'm so wrapped up in "church world" how will I ever reach those who most likely will never set foot in my church. (or any other church for that matter)  Wouldn't it mean more to them if I walked hand in hand with them?  Why is service a scheduled event in my life instead of a lifestyle?  Aren't we as the church called to be the "hands and feet of Christ" and not just a building?  When did I last get out of my comfort zone of church and meet face-to-face with those in need - need of help and more importantly in need of Christ.  What would it take for what I say I believe, to change the way I live EVERY day?  How many times in the Bible do we see Jesus attending a church service or small group study?  Rather he was out meeting people where they were at - Zacchaeus in a tree, the Samaritan woman at the well, the "sinners" that he had dinner with, and the lame man at the pool of Bethesda - none of these people met Christ after a great worship service with a stellar power point sermon.  He met them where they hung out, lived, and shopped.  I'm definitely not saying church is bad...I love my Oak Creek Community Church family!  We all need to be fed spiritually and be encouraged by fellow believers.  But we are missing the WHOLE gospel if we forget there is a hurting world outside the 4 walls of our church that need the hope that we have in Christ.   As you can see I have WAY more questions than answers, but I want to work through them.  I don't want to remain unchanged just because I don't have all the answers.  The time to start is now.  I want my life to be interruptible so that I make the time to "do life" with others.  Read this great quote in a blog this week and here's how I want to start - "We are all just waiting for someone to notice - notice our pain, notice our scars, notice our fears, notice our joy, notice our triumphs, notice our courage.  And the one who notices is a rare and beautiful gift."   I want to be the one who notices!

Brazil trip - Day 11...

Woke up excited today!  I am ready to head home and catch up with my family and friends!  It's been 11 days since I've had contact with any of them.  The technology break was nice but now there are 10+ days of stuff to catch every one up on.  I was just thinking last night of all the things that happened in the world and we have no idea.  I'm sure the morning hours will tick by slowly since we are all so

ready to head home, but it will be here before we know it.  We had my favorite for breakfast this morning...manioc breakfast sandwiches and fried bananas, oh and sweet coffee too.  I must be becoming part Brazilian!  Since the morning was dragging, Jeanette and I set out to check our the zoo at the hotel.  Of course it didn't open promptly at 8!  It had a jaguar, a few types of birds, and monkeys. I guess since we didn't get to see monkeys in the wild, this was going to be the next best thing.  Jeanette and I decided to entertain ourselves by ad libbing what the monkeys were saying.  Exhaustion must be setting in but we were definitely cracking ourselves up!  It was still only about 9 am so we headed back to the mall to kill some time.  Of course we ended up finding more to buy!  Good thing I have plenty of space in my luggage.  It was finally time to head back to the boat for our final meal together.  Did my last round of dishes for the team and then it was time to pack up the bus.  Lynn and Julie weren't leaving til later that night so it was time for another round of goodbyes with them and the crew.  We couldn't have asked for better people to take care of us.  I don't think there was anything else they could have done to make the trip any easier for us.  CBM has a great ministry and I was privileged to spend a few weeks having a small part in it.  After the goodbyes, we headed off to the airport.  They only let you check in so far ahead of your flight, so Jeanette, Leann, and I headed off for some more shopping.  I'm sure I will be all shopped out for a while the last couple of days.  I did finally find my Havaianas with the Brazilian flag, so my shopping is now complete!  Once we checked

in at TAM we had to go through security, which is nothing like in the States.  They put your bags through the X-ray machine but then go through EVERYTHING!!  They unzip every pocket and through every baggie.  They didn't know what my Avon bug spray was so they confiscated it.  They empty everything on to the belt...so imagine bras, underwear, tampons, and anything you would rather the world didn't see spread out for all to see!  Oh well, I guess we can feel safe.  I was finally able to get wifi for the first time since we left Miami so I called a few people who of course didn't answer!  Also got to text a few iMessage users...it was great to finally be in contact with and hear from a few people.  Since Jeanette was flying to Rio tonight instead of Miami, she got put in a different security line and a different terminal...so I didn't even get to say goodbye except through the glass.  I'm going to miss that girl and all her craziness.  What will I do when she isn't around to cram herself in to my one person hammock while I was trying to nap!  Said a little prayer for safety for her as she travels along over the next 24 hours.  Was hoping I'd sleep the whole flight to Miami but instead finished "Wild."  Enjoyed the book so now I need to find someone else to pass it off to.    Landed in Miami, through customs and checked in to our hotel rooms.  Leann and I headed for a quick bite to eat and then off for nice HOT showers and then comfy beds for a few quick hours of shut eye!  Its been fun but nothing like being back in the good old U.S. of A.